A Mother's Tale
by cailinbeag
Summary: We know about Tris' life, but what about her mother's? Follows Natalie's life from her childhood to her death. Natalie's POV. Snapshots of her life. On temporary hiatus, will post more soon.
1. Chapter 1

_This story is told from Tris' mother's POV. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, Insurgent or any of the relevant characters. I do own the characters of my creation however. Cailin x_

Mother's Tale

Prologue

I grew up jumping on and off trains; running down treacherous and dangerous paths; shouting for joy; living in the moment; fighting for the hell of it; doing crazy things because I felt like it; throwing myself off impossibly high buildings; getting tattoos; eating deliciously chocolaty chocolate cake; daring each other to climb further and further up a statue and shooting targets with a gun.

But I traded all of that to live simply; to never use a gun; to eat plain food; to never think of myself; to live to serve others; to hide my body behind plain clothing; to forget myself and to never live like Dauntless again. Why? For my own safety. Because my mother told me to in order to save my life. Because I am what I will learn my daughter also is. It was, and is, dangerous to be what we are. It makes it harder to fit in anywhere. Yet Dauntless would have been the easiest. It is easy to be brave if you were raised in that way. But it would have also been one of the most dangerous. Abnegation was the safest. No one fails Abnegation initiation; no one would guess what I am. If only my mother could have known what would happen. I wonder if she still would have told me to go to Abnegation, or instead perhaps, to Amity, or Candor or even to stay in Dauntless. In the end, I don't think any of them could be safe for people like me. Maybe then, but not now.

I've never looked back, never thought of the future I could have had. But now our children have joined the factions we left, I think about it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My earliest memory is of Natasha and I racing along the corridors early in the morning before school leading into the Pit, promptly colliding into a group of our father's friends as we forgot to slow down at the end. Papa swiftly swept me up into his arms while Josh, his best friend, caught Natasha and lifted her into a piggy-back and we were jogged along to the room where Mama was working, and then plonked down on her desk as a 'early birthday present', despite Mama's birthday not being for another month.

Mama's colleagues laughed their heads off as Mama glared at Papa and Josh, before demanding that they took us to school, before she got into trouble for us being late. Of course, though I never hated school like my friend Nicki, we did try to run off before we could get the train. But it was a daily tradition and, as kids, we could never imagine a day where someone didn't have to chase us to the train.

My childhood was a mess of crazy ideas and doing stuff for the hell of it. And I wouldn't have changed it for anything.


	3. Chapter 3

Mother's Tale Chapter 3

The train journey between our compound and the inner part of the city reminded me every time that while we saw ourselves as brave, others saw us as dare-devils, mischief makers, reckless, selfish, ruthless, resolute and violent.

I sit in a compartment with Natasha, Nicki, Jason, Ronan, Ahmed and Sarin on the way to school. We are all quiet. To some, that wouldn't be unusual, but for us, it is uncharacteristic. No one wants to talk. What would we talk about? It is too painful to talk about the truth; too serious a matter to talk about trivial matters.

I never imagined that I would lose the one person in my world that understood me completely. Neither did I imagine that I would lose him at the young age of 14. I am not the only one suffering; Mama and Natasha are too. His funeral was last night; and like typical Dauntless funerals, there was loads of shouting, screaming, alcohol, and because he was known by practically everyone, lots of speeches.

I left after 10 minutes, and headed to the one place I remember him being the most, but yet another place I would never see him in again. His tattoo parlour. I sat in the chair where I had often waited for him while he finished off someone's tattoo and closed my eyes, imagining him laughing at Jason's bad jokes as Jas got yet another tattoo. After a few moments, I heard footsteps that stopped a few metres away. I opened my eyes.

"Hey Nat." Jas said, softly.  
"Hey."

"It'll get easier you know. After a while, you kind of forget to think about it. It fades into the background."  
"I don't ever want to forget about it."  
"I know."

Jas sat down on the floor besides me, and pats the hard stone floor, gesturing for me to join him. I slid down off the chair and wrapped my arms around my legs, my chin leaning on my knees. Jas moved closer to me and wrapped his arm round my shoulders.

That's how Mama found us a few hours later. She smiled fondly at us, and gently pulled us up, silently taking us back to our sleeping quarters. We both crawled into our bunk beds, too tired to undress. Mama turned the light off, kissed our foreheads, and left, most likely to go and find Natasha.

Jas, whose bed was opposite mine, reached out his hand. I smiled softly, and grasped his in mine. His thumb rubbed small circles on my palm, calming me down, and sending me quickly to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to see Jason gone, but Natasha sitting up in her bed in the corner. She looked tired. After a few moments, she noticed that I was looking at her, and tried to smile, but could only manage a grimace.  
"Do we still have to go to school today?" I asked her. She nodded. I felt slightly sick. I couldn't bear the thought of going to school. But Mama would still have to go to work, so we would have to go to school. Anyway, Natasha didn't have long until she finished school. Then she would decide what faction she would spend the rest of her life in. I was pretty sure she would choose Dauntless.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hope you enjoy. I've made this chapter slightly longer than the others as from now on, I'll probably be writing more in one particular snapshot than doing more shorter snapshots. _

A Mother's Tale – Chapter 4

I woke up with a start. I had the same dream I had been having for the last few nights. I dreamt that Natasha had stayed with Dauntless but she had failed the initiation test. I knew that my dream was unrealistic; Natasha would never fail the test. She was Dauntless through and through, even if she could be quiet and thoughtful sometimes. It was a silly dream, and I made a promise to myself to forget about it; for both Mama and Natasha's sake.

Every year I watched the new initiatives train and fight and battle with their demons. Most passed, and joined us for real. Others didn't; too lacking in self-will to train properly or too weak to fight the stronger initiatives or too cowardly to face and conquer their fears.

But Natasha wasn't any of those things. She would have no problems with any of it. All I had to do was to wait until the day where she would be assigned her first job. I shook my head, I was being ridiculous and I knew it.

"Hey, slow train!" Yelled Jas right into my ear, as he walked into the room.  
"Arh! Sheesh! Could you keep the volume down just slightly in the morning?" I complained, rubbing my ear as his voice resounded round my head.  
"Well if you don't get a move on, you're going to miss both breakfast and the train to the ceremony."  
"What?! I hadn't realised that I was that late! Please could you get me a muffin while I get changed?"  
"And why should I do that now?"  
"Because otherwise you'll have to sit on your own during the ceremony." I taunted him. Jas huffed.  
"Fine. But hurry up. Your mum would not be happy if you were late." He threw the comment over his shoulder as he made his way back down to breakfast.

Mum was very picky about us being on time, not because it was good manners or inconvenient to the others but because the sooner you got to a place, normally, the sooner you could start doing whatever you needed to do, and when you had a particularly annoying and time-wasting job to do, that was a good strategy I thought as I quickly changed into skinny black jeans, a black t-shirt with padded shoulder blades and a pair of black wedged laced-up boots.

Jas reappeared as I was tying up my laces, complete with a muffin in each hand.  
"You got me two muffins?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.  
"Course not." He mumbled as he took a huge bite out of one of the muffins. I rolled my eyes, grabbing the other muffin out of his hand before he could lay claim to that one as well.

We ran out and down the ledge that lead to The Pit to join up with the others. I quickly noted that Natasha and the other 16 year olds were all huddled around another table, making anxious jokes and comments as we waited until it was time to leave.

"What's up with them?" Nicki commented, as untactful as ever as she and Ronan walked up to us, both munching on a muffin.  
"They're nervous, and yesterday probably ruffled their feathers a bit." I replied, as nonchalantly as I could. Natasha had been quite calm up until last night, when she had cracked slightly. They may know exactly what faction they were going to join, but the whole atmosphere of tension was never going to be helpful. Last night had hurt even more, when Natasha remembered that Papa wasn't there to comfort her and to watch her go through the next phase of her life, just like all the other phases of both of our lives he would never see or be a part of.

For the next 5 minutes, we chatted casually about the forthcoming ceremony, which for most of the others was simply another annual ceremony that led up to our own. I sneaked a few glances over at Natasha, but I couldn't make out anything other than fleeting words of their conversations.

Then a number of Mama's colleagues whistled loudly, calling all of us to the train. As we ran onto the platform, I saw Natasha out of the corner of my eye. She smiled at me reassuringly as she saw me glancing at her, as if to say, 'don't be nervous for me, I'm fine'. I wanted to say something, but she was too far away and I needed to get on the train. I would have a chance to speak to her later, before the ceremony anyway. That would be the last time I would see her until Visiting Day, I realised as I took my place next to Jas. He looked at me with searching eyes, as if to check that I was alright, as if it was _our_ choosing ceremony, rather than Natasha's. I nodded at him, trying to placate him. Not that that had ever worked.

As we arrived, we jumped out, and unanimously ran to The Hub. I slowed down until I was running alongside Natasha and Mama. Natasha looked uncertain, as if she was unsure what her future would lead to. I grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly, to let her know that we were there, and always would be.

_Please review!  
__Cailin x_


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